Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
