just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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