I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
