i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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