i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
