Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize