dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
