I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
