Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
