what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
