The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
