apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
