I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
only if we run a train.
done.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
