They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
