Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
