when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
