you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
