I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize