We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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