The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
