That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
