Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Acid is not a monday night drug
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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