Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
