I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
