just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I forget how to act sober
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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