he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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