Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize