he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
