My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
