I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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