You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
