Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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