the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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