So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
