Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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