the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
