So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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