I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
