i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
