Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
