Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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