So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
