Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i think my cat just said my name.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
