I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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