I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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