OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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