That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
