Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
