You can't motorboat a personality
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
