I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
