Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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