I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
