Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
