So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Pants are for mortals
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
