It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
