Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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