my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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