Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
