I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
