She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
