Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
