its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This is my gift to your gina
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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