I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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