Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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