You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
nutella sex= disaster
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
