I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
