Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
