new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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