Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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