Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize