Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
